Spring Freeze

Spring. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

I am too fat for warm weather clothes;
My hair frizzes at the first sign of humidity;
I have allergies; and
It rains all the time.

Yay.

It is a good thing that it has broken 50 degrees in NYC exactly 3 times since October. Today I woke up to rain and a healthy 40 degrees (and you wonder why I broke the diet I had been on for exactly 7 hours and 37 minutes by eating a vanilla-vanilla monstrosity...I was cold! I need layers of fat for warmth since I have very cold appendages.).

To be honest, I love the spring. The warm weather (ok, not yet), flowers (destroyed by heavy rain and spring frosts) and sunshine (clouds) really are a treat. The problem is that NYC's version of spring this year is really thwarting my motivation to get bikini ready. Instead, I wear a lot of black and eat a lot of baked goods. It seems like as long as the Dow continues to hang out below 8000 and big law firms drop associates just as quickly, the cold clouds will remain. What is a girl to do?

My solution? No, not antidepressants. Pharmaceuticals are expensive and I'm not sure I would be able to combine them with booze. Baking isn't a good idea because my cupcake roll is pretty out of control. I can't go to the gym more than 5 or 6 days a week (I'm told that is already excessive) and my days of spending $ on pricey personal trainers are gone (and, unfortunately, Jillian from the Biggest Loser doesn't run the vacation fat camp I dream about).

The solution is gardening. That's right, Home Depot sells seeds buy one get one free right now. 54 cents a pack! You don't need to worry about the cold when the only place your pots can sit is on top of your radiator! For $13 I bought pots, saucers, 5 seed packs and enough "seed starter" soil for all of them. Sure, I looked like a homeless person lugging my massive bags home across town, and yeah, I broke one of the pots before I got in the door (which I will attempt to return), but I am going to be a gardening machine! People are going to walk by my 2nd story apartment and instead of thinking "Why is that girl dancing around like that? Is she having a seizure?" they will ponder "I wonder where that girl having a seizure bought those beautiful pansies? Her pots of herbs are lovely!". I can just see it now. It is going to be glorious. Fresh mint for iced tea. Parsley and basil for homemade tomato sauce. Wildflowers galore.

Of course, I didn't actually plant anything yet. I mean, after lugging all that stuff home I was tired. There was also the broken pot. And I don't have a spade...or like to get dirty. But the plans that I have...big plans...for sometime next week or maybe the week after that. Definitely before summer.