Icing in your face

I have had enough.

Grub Street, you want to talk cupcakes? Let's talk.

Your bakery reviews stink. Your reviewer, from Gramercy Tavern, where I do not think the desserts are that great, stinks. At least Crumbs isn't on the list. They are busy taking over the universe.

Ok, now on to the cupcakes, in no particular order (except for Billy's):

1. Billy's Bakery - This is hands down the best cupcake in Manhattan. To be fair, the icing is a bit sweet. Guess what? That is why you get cupcakes! Because they are cute and sweet and taste/look like every 5 year-old girl and man in Chelsea's dream come true. And I am not just saying this because I want to work there...contrary to what my mother predicts every other day, I am still employed as a lawyer. (Grub Street rank: 11th...out of 15...)

Magnolia - Maybe it is because the new Rockefeller Center location is so close to my office (Hello Al Roker, have another), but this mecca of cupcake consumerism and dry cake has grown on me lately. Seriously though, I still maintain Magnolia is (a) no comparison to Billy's and (b) the closest thing to eating chocolate flavored sandpaper that I can think of. (Grub Street rank: 7th)

Sweet Revenge - I reviewed this one. I am not doing it again now. The cupcakes are good. The peanut butter frosting is not great. (Grub Street rank: 8th)

Cupcake Cafe - The best thing about these cupcakes are the decorations, which are really spectacular flowers of every shape and color. The buttercream is a bit dense, but this is a truly amazing presentation. The chocolate cake is actually less dry than the vanilla, but both are basically poundcake. Grub Street got this one right. (Grub Street rank: 9th)

Babycakes - Ew. Cake is made with eggs and flour. I don't know what made vegan/gluten free cupcakes sound like a good idea, but these prove they are not. (Grub Street rank: 15th)

Kyotofu - When I ordered these cupcakes they did not have icing. It was $2 a piece for little muffin turds. I guess the New York Magazine people rate a little higher than lawyers ordering cupcakes to the office on a Saturday (don't judge) because mine had a weird aftertaste and no toppings. (Grub Street rank: 3rd...drat)

I will save the Brooklyn cupcakes for another day...it requires some commuting.

That's right, I'm back.