La Donut

I am a bit confused by the current state of yogurt. I have always enjoyed La Yogurt. I feel it is a delicious and affordable alternative to the Greek yogurt that I crave (3 for $2 instead of $1.19 each). In addition, I can add bran flakes to it and feel like I am enjoying a treat instead of a healthy breakfast. Recently though, each time I have gone to purchase my discount (yes, 66.6 cents per container is a discount) yogurt the shelves have only been filled with the probiotic variety. It actually says "Light Zero Fat Probiotic Formula". Formula!?

I am not sure what that means, but I don't want it. I see these women on TV talking about regulating their digestive system in 6 weeks with Activia. We all understand what they are getting at...it is a discreet way of saying something gross. I don't want mini bacteria on steroids running around my digestive system and trying to pummel all of the cute cakes and pies that I have consumed. Leave them alone! I need them to create the fat cells that keep me warm in my cold office.

Reviewing the package, it claims to boost immunity and improve digestive health. That is interesting since the two times I have consumed this yogurt I wanted to take a sick day and not even a cupcake and swedish fish made it better. I couldn't even focus on marking up documents with thrilling comments. Interestingly, Google informed me that there are 100,000 results for probiotic side effects. Upon further research, it seems that the positive benefits of these "friendly germs" are not proven. This destruction of my La Yogurt makes no sense. Why would something seemingly perfect, like yogurt, need to be pumped full of weird bacteria? It is bad enough that we suck out the fat (and add artificial sweetener...but that is a chemical which I love and would never badmouth).

On a positive note, this is clearly an indication that I should not eat (super) healthy breakfasts. I am looking forward to a nice organic donut.